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SAGE at Matrix

15 December on Announcements  

The second iteration of the Semi-Annual Gaming Extravaganza (SAGE) was hosted at Matrix on Friday, December 4, 2015. Hosted by up-and-coming rapper Mike Green, the event welcomed all employees of MATRIX as well as their friends to participate in games galore. In an attempt to keep past champion Justin Leggs from reclaiming the SAGE throne, Mario Kart was chosen as the main event for the evening. Super Smash Bros was welcomed back by popular demand, but the event also featured Magic, Seven Wonders, chess, Golden Eye, and a questionable game of dots, which lead to a very “predictable” outcome. Scrabble was snubbed for the event, much to everyone’s dismay. Alicia Sheill, Assistant Director of Matrix, vowed to bring “three unique games of Scrabble” to the next SAGE event, puzzling all digital lab employees who believed there was only one type of Scrabble. 

Patrick Conway, of the digital lab, created a carefully curated a “just-shy-of-five-hours” playlist that was disrespected by all due to the popularity of the game, Dance Dance Revolution. The playlist featured no Adele. He still thinks about these times lost every now and again.

Pizza House generously provided food for the event, with their veggie pizza being “so so so so good” according to Mike Green, who has ironically decided to change the menu for the next event to Mexican, Mediterranean, or Chipotle. 

Unsurprisingly, Justin Leggs beat all of the haters to reclaim his first place crown at the SAGE event, with Zachary Jaghory named honorary co-winner. Surprisingly, the ambulance was not summoned to the Natural Sciences building upon the announcement of the winner. The event was concluded with our supreme leader Dean Rehberger thanking all student employees for their hard work this semester, except for clerk Katie Susko, who ironically skipped the event. When asked for an inspiring quote about the event, Rehberger replied, “Just make one up.” Upon second thought, he reentered the room, exclaiming, “It’s great for team building and “something” morale.” 

Mike Green will be accepting suggestions for the next SAGE event in his office between the hours of 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. on Fridays. Until then, be sure to listen to his mixtape on Sound Cloud.
UPDATE: A rematch of dots has been announced. Consult the MATRIX Twitter account for the soon-to-be-determined date and time. The much-anticipated event will take place in the digital lab with popcorn provided.